100 word challenge
“WAWAWA!!” I would always scream, I hated it here at Alcatraz.
I was lonely, getting colder, after every gust of wind.
I was isolated, so far away from expanding life.
The participated prisoners were in different cells, no company, none.
“I’T WASN'T ME!!!” I would scream to the guards, trailing off into a weep. “I’T WASN'T ME!!!”
“This is my life now, it’s all left, of my life.”
The wind whistled, as the freezing gust of wind flew by.
“No. this isn't me, I’ve been wrongly accused.” I say every night. “I will escape, I will escape, I will escape…”
Hi Isaac,
ReplyDeleteWhat a gloomy piece you wrote! It definitely suits the picture prompt for this week, well done. I loved the way you painted the picture of such a desolate and cold place. Well done on your use of personification (the wind whistled) and on your evocative descriptions. To make your writing even better, try to get a friend to read your writing and point out any parts of it that may be a little confusing. For instance, I think the sentence 'I was always lonely, cold, with every gust of wind.' would make more sense rewritten as'I was always lonely, feeling colder with every gust of wind.'
Keep up the great work!
Mrs Pratt (Team 100WC Australia)
thanks, I will use the advice (:
DeleteIsaac. I love the sentence... "prisoners were in different cells, no company, none." You add impact by repeating the idea in different ways i.e. no company, none reinforces the idea twice that he's all alone. It does it very strongly.
ReplyDelete