On a stormy night, the wolves howled, the owls made there hoots, and the crows screeched there screeches. In the middle of a forest, a haunted cottage just, sat there, waiting for it to have, its next victim.
One night two kids were wandering around in the forest, and found the house. “Let’s go in James” said Sandy.
“Okay” said James.
The two children walked in, and saw the doors close behind them.
“The house is haunted!” said James.
“But how would I know?"
The kids ran to the doors, but it was locked!
The kids were never seen again.
I like the beginning that describes the different animal noises you hear. I think the conversation between the children wastes a lot of words that are largely unnecessary. After your beginning you have no vivid verbs, or powerful adjectives.
ReplyDeleteI like the beginning that describes the different animal noises you hear. I think the conversation between the children wastes a lot of words that are largely unnecessary. After your beginning you have no vivid verbs, or powerful adjectives.
ReplyDelete